Carlyle was born in New York and raised in subrural Illinois. Her creativity in painting and sewing was encouraged at an early age by her family.
After graduating with a double major in Art History and Economics from Smith College, Carlyle moved to Taiwan to teach English and backpack for a year down through Asia to Australia. Upon returning to America, Carlyle settled in Manhattan where she worked in the silk trade, volunteered at the Museum of Modern Art and took night school classes at the Art Student's League, the School of Visual Arts and NYU. She earned a Master of International Affairs from Columbia University. She is the fifth generation of women in her family to live in New York City.
September 11, 2001 was a watershed date for Carlyle as she decided to devote her life's work to making art and exploring visual meaning.
After marrying David S. Upson III, the couple moved for two years to St. Croix, U.S.V.I. where she was a founding Board Member of the Caribbean Museum Center for the Arts.